The reason why I wrote this is because :
1 – Donatella from Grimedaily.com infuriated me with her version of her first date rules
2 – I’m tired of guys getting no-where with girls, especially the over-rated, overvalued 6/10 London Girls who think they are 12/10.
If your decent looking and with a solid attitude and personality and wants to get a chick to be on your d*ck please read….
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Rule #1 – NEVER EVER EVER PAY 100% ON THE FIRST DATE – That’s a suffering mans tactic that will leads to you ending up in the ‘friend zone’ with the chick, or even worse, making you pay for everything and taking the straight piss with you. Make sure it’s around 50/50…If the girl is broke, then she’s not for you.
Rule #2 – TAKE HER TO A PROPER RESTUARRANT– I’m not talking about Nandos or Gormet Burger Kitchen – You can do that once you’ve wifed it…I’m talking about a restaurant where’s she’s never been to and its face to be seen at. Sketch Gallery, Gaucho Grill, Restaurant Bar & Grill & Aura are all big boy places.. Anywhere where people recommend the place and the total bill including drinks is around £75 - £125 is a good look
Rule #3 – GET A BOTTLE OF WHITE WINE, BUT LET HER CHOOSE – White wine is always a good look and usually makes your date more relaxed and more comfortable around you but unless your some fucking wine connoisseur don’t pick the wine; Some girls like dry, some girls like it medium-sweet.
Rule #4– MAKE SURE YOU PAY WITH CASH – This is a strictly psychological move. Moreover, If your bill is £77.84 and your not sure if you’ve got £74.87 or £87.47 in your account do not take a chance just for them to turn around to say ‘I’m sure your cards been declined’ – That will par the whole date automatically
Rule #5 – GO SOMEWHERE ELSE – It shouldn’t end there, it needs to be an experience for the girl. Best place is always a nice upmarket cocktail bar. AVOID going to a nightclub for her to see you dance like an idiot or being spotted by some road girl you used to bang on a regs
Rule #6 – DON’T WALK ANYWHERE – If your eating in Angel, Islington and you want to go to Hoxton then don’t walk…next thing you know her feet will be in pain and then she’d wanna get a tube home on her own. Everywhere you go needs to be in a black cab (or with Addison Lee)
Rule #7 – TALK TO HER / DON’T TALK NONSENSE – This is one of the key rules….first dates are all about getting to know each other; don’t talk guntalk or about football (unless she’s that type of girl). Ask her questions, get her to ask you questions, make her laugh and make sure the drinks are flowing… remember your trying to her like you. The talk needs to be at an angle otherwise you’ll fall into the friend zone…
Rule #7.5 – DON’T ALLOW HER TO TALK NONSENSE EITHER – This is as equally important as rule 7 – and where a lot of guys mess up – You cant agree to everything a girl says, same way you cant allow a girl to have her way either otherwise see rule 1. You need to disagree to things she is chatting shit about, you need to stir up some controversy so she knows that you’re a solid guy and not Bennett (lol)
Rule #8 – DON’T BE A PERVE – By now she should be keen, or even better, on your shit. If she’s getting close don’t be like me and try grab a tit; Don’t talk about your favourite position or about eating poomps…in fact don’t talk about sex or anything blatant. If you think she’ll respond to it then be smart about it with innuendos, etc, etc but don’t force it.
Rule #9 – KEEP PHONE CALLS / PEOPLE YOU MEET TO A MINIMUM – Accept a few calls just to let her know who she’s fucking with; There maybe a person who may bump into you on your first date…It could be a friend or an ex or a shotter or whoever but make sure you keep it brief. Anyhow she gets a whiff that you’re some sort of galice or your more bothered about business then her, then things could turn sour
Rule #10 – TAKE HER HOME AND MAKE THE DECISION – This is another key rule. Between the bar and taking her home you should’ve lisped by now…If she asks (or assumes) your coming in to her flat then you’ve got to make this decision…if you want to bang it and not see it again (and risk the chance of her calling you a dickhead afterwards) then bang it. If you want to wife it then have a bit of fun but go home…and plan the next date…
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Please note – I don’t need to follow these rules…I’m Kenzo.
x
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